Sign on the Dotted Line

Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane
I can see the red tail lights heading for Spain
Oh and I can see Daniel waving goodbye
God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes

They say Spain is pretty though I've never been
Well Daniel says it's the best place that he's ever seen
Oh and he should know, he's been there enough
Lord I miss Daniel, oh I miss him so much

Daniel my brother you are older than me
Do you still feel the pain of the scars that won't heal
Your eyes have died
but you see more than I
Daniel you're a star in the face of the sky

Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane
I can see the red tail lights heading for Spain
Oh and I can see Daniel waving goodbye
God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes
Oh God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes

Daniel by Elton John

There are things that we teach our children. When they're born to us, we sign a contract with God. It's the fine print attached to that secret prayer all mother's pray right before that incredible moment. We know it's the best moment of our life. We hope it's not the worst moment. We know a miracle is about to happen, but we don't understand how it's possible to give life to another tiny human being. So, we're scared. So, we're frantic. So, we make the deal. We sign the contract with ink made of blood, sweat, tears, and a little amniotic fluid. We make the promise. God, I promise to take care of this baby. I promise to teach this baby the things you want me to teach. I promise to love this baby. I promise to show this baby the right way in this world.....if you'll only help me. If you'll only give me a healthy baby. If you'll make sure we get 10 fingers and 10 toes. I'll never ask for anything else. We know, even as we say that last line, it's a bold-faced lie. I've told God a million times since then that I would never ask for anything else...if he would bring a child home safely when it's past curfew, if he would let a child live, if he would help a lost child find their way back...God answered every one of my prayers. Sometimes not quite in the way I had hoped, but they were answered all the same.

We teach our children the rules. So, so many rules! There's the Golden Rule. There are the Bible rules. There are the school rules, the inside rules, the outside rules, the traffic rules, the bike riding rules, the TV watching rules, the snacking rules.....whew! We make sure they brush their teeth. We make sure they get enough sleep. We check behind their ears after bath time. We take their temperature when they're sick. We do everything within our power to make sure they are healthy, happy, and blessedly naive in a cruel world. These are the things that we must do. These are the things we promised we would do. But, all moms are different. All moms have different interests, different constitutions, different beliefs. We make the world go round. We invented diversity. Look up the word unique in the dictionary. There will be a picture of a good mother. There should be, at least. On the day of my baby boy's 20th birthday, I wonder if he knows the things I did to mold him? To shape him? I wonder if it will ever kick in? I wonder if it already has - or if that will happen when he sees his own baby for the first time one day (many, many years in the future!) I can see now, with the benefit of age and experience, that I did virtually the same things that my mom did for me. My way wasn't necessarily the right way. Your way may have been the polar opposite. That's ok. At least it was your way. In case you're reading this, Daniel, here is what I did to help you be the best you that you could be:

1. A can of formula never touched your lips 2. You never had baby food from a jar 3. I used cloth diapers 4. We joined the Le Leche League 5. I was a vegetarian (to set a good example, of course) 6. I read to you every day 7. I took you and your brother to the Smithsonian at least once a month 8. We joined PETA 9. I adopted a Montessori style system to teach you things at home 10. We took long walks in the woods 11. We had picnics in the back yard 12. I sang you to sleep every night 13. I held you all the time 14. I stayed up with you at night when you could only sleep a few hours at a pop 15. We raised chickens and collected our own eggs 16. We grew cherry tomatoes and pumpkins 17. I protected you 18. I cherished you 19. I'm not sorry I did any of these things!

Who knows....maybe my approach was a bit extreme. Daniel says I'm a card carrying "tree hugger" to this day. He still thinks recycling is dumb. He still thinks I'm weird because I read so much. He refuses to eat sweet potatoes even though that was his favorite baby food. There are still many things about me that he just doesn't get. I think that's just part of being 20, though. I had a GREAT realization recently. When your adult child doesn't have any money because he was on his way out of Wal-Mart and he gave his last $20 to an organization that runs a safe house for domestic abuse victims.....that's when you know you might be onto something. Next thing I know, he'll be saving cans for me....or eating more vegetables....or taking me on a picnic. Yeah, right! Pigs will be flying out of my derriere at any moment now. Still, at least I tried. I remember the promise. I do.