Allow me to introduce you to my friend, Victoria ('s Secret, that is!)

Say hey, good lookin' whatcha got cookin'?
How's about cookin' something up with me?
Hey, sweet baby don't you think maybe
We can find us a brand new recipe?

I got a hot rod ford and a two dollar bill
And I know a spot right over the hill
There's soda pop and the dancin's free
So if you want to have fun come along with me.

Hey, good lookin' whatcha got cookin'?
How's about cookin' something up with me?

"Hey Good Lookin'" by Hank Williams

Yesterday was a stressful day! Hospital, grocers, CEO of the Moon limo service for munchkins, spending 4 hours cooking food that magically disappears within 10 minutes (kids around food = leprechauns within 100 miles of a rainbow - "Have ya seen me Lucky Charms, laddy?"). Still, any day that I can have a crowd of chillrens here is a superb day, in my opinion. We entertained the following individuals last eve: Kev & I, Cart, Dill, Dano, Wingo, Parker, Brit, Park & Brit's unborn daughter, Grandma Marsha, Grandad Ted.....I think that's all? There were surprises! Park has a fierce new tat. Brit's tum tum is sooooooo cute, and I love her choices in baby names. Grandad brought me approximately 2 decades worth of pre-cut firewood. Daniel is speed texting a new girl that he knows only by her first name, while Dillan tells us he's texting someone who lives on the Arkansas border, is 4 years older than he is, and has a 2 year old son.....deep, cleansing breaths. Count backwards from 100.....there now!

Boobie Update! Boobie Update! We now interrupt your regularly scheduled blog to bring you this exciting and "titillating" information. John Wayne is legally changing her name to....... Michael Jackson!!!!! Though human hands have shaped and re-shaped her structure, she's looks pretty awesome, very feminine, and just needs a tan! YESSSSSS! Good-bye, stitches. So long, stacks and stacks of gauze with symmetrical holes cut in the tops. Adios, steri-strips, sticky medical tape, & triple antibiotic ointments. Smell you later, horrid "sleeping on one's back" regime. Welcome back to my life, side sleeping au natural, weird exercises to keep my "pockets" soft, Mederma (tm), and .....in just 3 short weeks......UNDERWIRE BRAS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN OVER A YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I must say. This truly is the silk purse that I've crafted from my cancerous sow's ear. Dr. McHottie (he's latino so I'm hereby changing his moniker to Dr. Rico Suave) sculpts with the hands of a master! He's the Michelangelo of boobies! He talked me into silicone! He brought me into the light! Enough of that.

Suffice it to say that things are going great! I feel good. I look....eh, better, at least. My hair is growing into a nice little party-in-the-back mullet. I didn't lose those two toenails after all. My Mexican rice was REALLY GOOD last night (as were the black beans with chorizo and cilantro AND the cheese enchiladas) and Daniel almost ate an entire Dutch oven's worth. What could be better? I think I'll make a pie today!