I Feel So Used (and re-used, and re-used, and re-used...)

I've a clock that won't work
And an old telephone
A broken umbrella, a rusty trombone
And I am delighted to call them my own
I love them because they're trash!

Oh, I love trash!
Anything dirty or dingy or dusty
Anything ragged or rotten or rusty
Yes! I love it because it's trash!

"I Love Trash" written by Jeff Moss/performed by Oscar the Grouch

Well, here we are. It's Monday. All the leaves are brown and the sky is gray (sorry Mama Cass - I hate to jumble together two of your poetic masterpieces right after quoting Sesame Street). What to write about today? I really wasn't sure. As I stumbled downstairs this morning, smugly smiling my "I'm the BEST unemployed house-Frau in the world" because I FINALLY remembered to set the darn coffee maker last night, I paused to throw Kev's gummy bear candy wrapper in the trash (yes, that's correct - professional banker, father/step-father of 4, college degreed, well-mannered, 70's guitar playin', James Taylor lovin' man of mine......who's favorite candy is now and forever....gummy bears!!! And he only eats the Haribo brand? wtf?). Anyway, as I bend over to toss out the little gold package 'o treats.....the thought occurs to me that I'm still tossing into the same trash bag that was in the kitchen last week! Yep, that's right. We're down to just one bag a week! If ya'll want to throw a parade in my honor, go right ahead. Just make sure that my float is made from 100% RECYCLABLE items...since THAT, my friends, is what we're going to talk about today! You can also give me an award for the most unlikely and awkward segue in history......

I recycle. Quick! Keep reading! Don't close me down yet! I didn't always. Actually, I kind of did, but I've just done much better at times - much worse at other times. The reason I am passionate is because I: a) am now at an age where I am starting to see the sins of non-recycling generations past b)know that it puts you into a mental state where you really think about all the ridiculous packaging involved in our US products c) am actually slightly competitive after all, as long as there is no hand to eye coordination involved & d)I really think that St. Peter's checklist has the following items listed (among several thousand others, of course)...kind to babies/ old folks/animals (check)...always tried to do the right thing (check)...recycled (check!!). I am also of the opinion that I still have very much to learn, but that if little ole me out here in Forney, Texas can recycle herself down to one trash bag a week, anyone can! There are a bajillion sites you can go to that show you what to do and where to do it, but they all make it sound so COMPLICATED that you immediately feel you can't possibly be successful without a PhD in trash. I thought that maybe if I could dumb it down enough for me....maybe my tips would work for you, too! Read on, oh earthy ones!

I know what it's like. I know why you don't recycle. I do. It's because you have to get up at 4am in order to leave by 6am so you can be at work by 8am. Now, in my former life, only about 15 min of that 4-6am allotment was spent perfecting the nude pouty lip appropriate for office. The remainder was given toward things like unload/reload of dishwasher, transferring last night's wash into dryer, making munchkin lunches, & just trying to get enough coffee in me to hold my eyes open! I also know what it's like to cover exactly 29 miles in 2 hours (one way, folks), only to get to work and realize that you - who could just as well have just driven to California (that's how it seemed, anyway) - are the only one who seems to be able to get to where you're supposed to be on time! I know what it's like to pull into the driveway at 7pm knowing that if you don't close your eyes at 10pm there will be no way you will survive another day (tick, tick, tick)...but that won't happen because there's a project due at school, there are no clean uniform clothes, someone let the cat out, and they seem to really think that you LIKE to hear the word Mom/Dad at high decibels for hours on end (always reminded me of those kittens who sing Jingle Bells in meows?)! See - I told you I understand!! That's ok. You won't believe me now, but one day you will miss all that mess. You'll think that you were the bomb.com back then. You'll tell Paul Bunyan-esque stories about how you walked 25 miles to work each day. You'll secretly still have nightmares. But, mostly...you'll be proud and the laugh track that will accompany these memories will highlight your dreams. Sorry for the wild tangent! I just wanted to qualify myself as credible in assuming that, perhaps, you don't recycle because there just isn't time. This is where I come in! Now - this is where the blog really speeds up!

Start small. Only do, say...newspapers for a month. After saving (AND RECYCLING) papers - watching them stack up in the corner of your dining room does NOT count - becomes second nature, add something else (warning - no one else in your househould will want to help you at first, so invest in rubber gloves. This way, sticking your hand down in a slimy, stinky trash bag to get that one can isn't quite as gross!) Now....call your local city hall. They should have recycling bins for free. If not, the next town over will have a drop off location - no one cares if you live in that town or not, just find out what they will accept and what you need to bag it in and then just drop it off to or from work. Let's continue under the assumption that you have a bin & are ready to start collecting all your stuff and setting it out each week. Make sure you know what your municipality will accept. It should be on their website, or again, just call them. Most cities accept newspapers, #1/#2 plastics, clear and colored glass, metal cans (soft drinks, canned veggies/fruits with the labels removed), and cardboard. Our drop off site in Forney ( we do curbside and have a drop off location) also accepts these things plus (this is the one I love!) junk mail and random office papers!!! Isn't that cool? We also have newspaper drop-off bins at our high school and several local churches. Try just adding a couple of these things each month until you have it mastered! It's infinitely better to recycle a few things superbly than to dive in too fast and decide you can't handle it at all!

Now that you have the recycling rhythm, try my tips. Tip #1 - before you put any plastic item in your grocery cart, flip it over and make sure it's a #1 or #2 plastic product. If it's not....keep looking. There will be another such product for the same price that falls into this category. Pay attention to the packaging - I don't know why something in a tube needs to be wrapped in plastic AND placed into a box INSIDE one of those hard plastic thingies that cut you when you try in vain to rip them open! Tip #2 - Take it back, jack! Do you have TONS of plastic hangers from Wal-Mart? How about those glass vases from the florist? Both scenarios are easily repairable. Wal-Mart will take back the hangers - just drop them off at customer service...or set them down next to the big container for recycling the plastic bags (more on this in a sec). After my daughter's funeral, we had about 200 (seriously)clear glass vases from florists around the area. It took a few days, but I finally found one that would gladly take all those once used vases off my hands. If I had possessed the mental capacity to list them on Craig's List, I'm sure I could've made a profit! Tip #3 - take your own bags to the grocery store and insist that you be able to use them for bagging your items! This is my current pet peeve and the thing that I have not yet perfected - though I'm trying. You DON'T have to buy the bags your grocer sells. You can bring any sort of bag you want: other plastic bags from that grocer or another, duffel bags, large purses, anything you want! My favorite thing to do is to go through the self-checkout line and bag my own. I've noticed lately that the self-checkout lines are never open when I'm at my local grocer. So...one day when there wasn't a line around the block in customer service, I asked why that was so. The response: it is this grocer's policy to staff a checker who can help with corrections and such for all of the computer challenged patrons who attempt to use the self-check aisles. These would be patrons who haven't quite mastered the touch screen philosophy. Since this grocer is purposefully understaffed in order to save money - I totally understand this, too (and I'm not being sarcastic) - they currently aren't employing said person, thus - no self-checkout. I then tell the snotty little c/s person that I intend to bring my own bags, then, and will accept absolutely no lip from the surly cashier who doesn't want to use my bags because they don't fit on the bag carousel (images of pretty plastic horses wearing lipstick run through my fertile mind). She tells me that they will GLADLY use whatever bags I choose to bring with me (I take mental note of her name and rank)and proceed to check-out. While I know all the checkers are hiding under the conveyor belt things when it's my turn, at least I feel like I'm doing something that matters! Change doesn't come easy,super centers!

One final tip - find a company that supports recycling efforts and patronize, patronize, patronize! My absolute FAV is http://www.terracycle.net/. They make amazing things like backpacks out of Oreo wrappers and binders from stuff they find in landfills. You won't believe it! Get used to the delayed gratification idealization. When you come to terms with the fact that good change is accomplished in tiny little steps, and that the end result will only be evident to you in the future, it really helps one's mindset in many areas of life. Now....for those gummy bear wrappers...wonder if I could make a bikini for my dog, Lucybird Johnson (a weenie bikini!!! get it?) Have a recycling tip for us? As always, all constructive comments and brilliant ideas are welcomed! One day I might even cover composting, thrift store shopping, and garage sales!!!! Easy - ya'll calm down!