Leaping Buildings in a Single Bound...Whatev

Never win first place, I don't support the team
I can't take direction, and my socks are never clean
Teachers dated me, my parents hated me
I was always in a fight cuz I can't do nothin' right

Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person starin' back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
Its bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

"Don't Let Me Get Me" - Pink


Newsflash! I am changing my super-hero name. Yep, Worst Case Scenario Woman no more! From now on, you'll know me as......Procrastinator Girl! Yes sir, tradin' in my varsity WCSW jersey for a cute Lycra suit with a big ole capital "P". It all boils down to one thing.......nothing.

I had quite an impressive list of things I was going to accomplish this Summer. I was going to make a dress. It's pinned to the pattern (on material I bought for a different dress at least one husband ago!!), but the sewing machine still snuggles in the bottom of my cedar chest like a mechanical Sleeping Beauty. Then, I was going to start making bread from scratch once a week. I stalled out on that one right after buying the yeast (soon to expire). Oh, but we're not finished yet! I was going to teach myself how to play the guitar and surprise my husband with a brilliant rendition of "You Belong to Me" complete with a Carla Bruni accent. I quit this one after recording my faux Italian-ese and realizing that a) I don't have a throaty, sultry voice, and b)I sounded more like the Lucky Charms leprechaun. Then, I was going to save money by cancelling my tanning membership and doing some old school laying out in the backyard. This was going to require teaching all my animals not to wee-wee on the large, bumpy object on the lawn (moi), so that was an immediate failure. And, finally, we have the dreaded garage sale - thus far a heinous, dismal shortcoming. I have talked about it. I have recruited helpers. I have covertly taken random neighborhood polls to predict attendance. Mentally, I see this AMAZING garage sale complete with one of a kind banners, refreshments, and Frank Sinatra music. So far, I've only managed to divide the garage into "like" and "hate" piles. Woe is me!

There is always a method to my madness, a reason behind my demise. It's too hot. It's too busy. I'm too tired. Maybe I should've chosen Captain Flimsy Excuses, instead?