Josie Had to Cut Her Vacation Short

We went out last night
like we swore we wouldn't do

Drank too much beer last night
a lot more than we wanted to

There were girls from Argentina and Arkansas, Maine,
Alabama, and Panama
All mixed together and having a ball

Yeah, we went out last night
One thing started leading to another
Out last night hitting on everybody and their mother

There were two karaoke girls drunk on a dare
Singing 'I got you babe' by Sonny and Cher
Yeah, life was good everywhere
We went out last night

Well you know I'm a music man
I grew up in East Tennessee
Last night I was everything
When I had a few drinks in me

I was a doctor, lawyer, senators son, Brad Pitt's brother, and a man on the run
Anything i thought would get the job done

Yeah, we went out last night
One thing started leading to another
Out last night hittin' on everybody and their mother

There were people doing body shots up on the bar
Jimmy in a fist fight out by the car
Everybody was some kind of star
When we went out last night

Well the fact that I'm still breathing means that I must have survived
And that i lived to go out with my friends again tonight

Oh we went out last night
One thing started leading to another
Out last night
Everybody stared loving on each other

They were dancing on the tables
Howling at the moon
Pairing of together and pretty soon
There was not a soul in sight
When we went out last night

"Out Last Night" - Kenny Chesney

I really was not going to blog about this today, because, quite frankly, it doesn't paint me in the best light. I am, however, a consenting adult of legal age (boy am I!) who happens to have had quite a hellacious 2008/09 (boy haven't I!)and was entitled to get my freak on just a little bit (boy didn't I!), right? Plus, usually I am sitting here with the finished bloduct racking my brain for an appropriate lyrical segue for, like days on end....but today the perfect song was already playing in my head! Hence, here's the blog.

I may have asked for it. I did go on a rant the other day, telling the Hubs that we never have any fun, never go anywhere, never socialize, etc, et al. And, while we were at Costco yesterday and I was reading all the wine reviews to determine if the better purchase was a top 15 from 2009 or a top 10 from 2007 (as if my Uncle Sandy's homemade cherry wine palate would know the difference)....maybe I did suggest that we get all dolled up and go out somewhere. And, when the Hubs suggested a movie, maybe I did make a face and crinkle my nose up and say something like, oh, I don't know...maybe "NO! NOT ANOTHER MOVIE!" So, what did the Hubs do? Why he walked out of the closet wearing his Buckle jeans! That's when I knew it was on like Donkey Kong. Those Buckle jeans don't come hoppin' out for just any ole night. Faster than you can say "you're going to regret this tomorrow" I slithered into my spanks and hit the door!

Here in my neck of the woods we have this place called "Gloria's" (those of you who know me are already hanging your heads and nodding slowly to and fro). If you stand on my back porch and listen carefully on beautiful summer evenings, you can here it literally call my name. "Diiiiiiinnnnna." See? Gloria's has superb Cuban food. They wrap their tamales in banana leaves. They serve this yummy rice that's dark brown and sort of gooey. They have black bean dip. They also have the best margaritas in the universe. No one really knows for sure exactly what they put in said margaritas - it's sort of like an urban legend. Everclear? Napalm? Crack? They're itty bitty, too! One is my limit. It seems, though, that one of these little glasses of Heaven + two glasses of 2007's top ten Merlot....is all she wrote.

Act 2: Leave Gloria's. See Kevin and Dina on a beautiful starlit night. See Kevin and Dina gaze out over the water. See Kevin and Dina walk by a bar. See Kevin and Dina notice live band playing. See Kevin and Dina decide to go inside. Cue crowd noise. Hear lead singer proclaim, "THIS ONE'S FOR YOU SOUTH GARLAND CLASS OF '84!!" Watch Kevin and Dina proceed to gyrate wildly on the dance floor to that song about Josie being on a vacation far away. See Dina do the ever-popular V'd fingers across the eyes "Pulp Fiction" move. See Kevin striking up conversations with complete strangers. See Dina showing old driver's license to other complete strangers because, apparently, they need to see Dina with long hair. Watch Dina come back from ladies room with random South Garland name tag. (Can you believe they made them wear name tags with their old high school pictures on them? OMG - it was HILARIOUS!!!!!) Watch Dina convince people that she really is Buffy Ramsey-Haskins. Hear Kevin tell lead singer of band that he plays the guitar & perhaps could sit in with them if, oh - I don't know, say the lead guitarist were to get bonked on the head accidentally tonight. Hear Kevin convince Dina that woman in corner really is Michelle Obama. See Dina writing this blog at 9:48am & picking remnants of mascara out of her eyelashes while Kevin is still sleeping soundly.

Don't tell me we're too old to freak.....I just hope there were no pictures. That's all I'm sayin'. (Buffy Ramsey-Haskins is a fictitious name. If you really are out there, Buffy, rest assured that I don't know you and meant no disrespect. I'm sure you're quite the shiz.)