Dina Moon aka Michael Finnegan (Begin Again!)

Time, time, time, see what's become of me.
While I looked around for my possibilities,
I was so hard to please.
But look around, the leaves are brown,
And the sky is a hazy shade of winter.
Hear the salvation army band
Down by the riverside, it's bound to be a better ride
Than what you've got planned,
Carry your cup in your hand.
And look around you, the leaves are brown now,
And the sky is a hazy shade of winter.
Hang on to your hopes, my friend.
That's an easy thing to say but if your hopes should pass away,
It's simply pretend, that you can build them again.
Look around, the grass is high, the fields are ripe,
It's the springtime of my life.
Oh, seasons change with scenery,
Weaving time in a tapestry,
Won't you stop and remember me?

Hazy Shade of Winter - Paul Simon

Welcome, oh new year! Mysterious, complicated, & frustratingly vague though you are. Will you be my BFF, 2011? Will we fall in love? Will you woo me incesantly? Or, like that bad boy cousin of yours, 2008, will you tell me sweet nothings and then walk out on me, breaking my heart to the point that I still curse the day I met you? Irregardless, it is a new year. I could dread it, or embrace it. I choose the latter!

Honestly, I tried not to think about a new year encroaching on me. See, I can barely make it through Christmas!!!! I'm a procrastinator, so I do lots of shopping around 12/23 each year. I'm not proud of it - but there you go. New years are like birthdays. They just bring on more wrinkles, more gray hairs, more muscles to pull. Still, there's this little pampered princess girl deep down inside of me somewhere. Let's call her Anastasia, after the mysterious Russian Czar's daughter. Wasn't that one of the Nicholas Czars?? I digress. Anastasia can't let go of her dreams. She thinks there's still time. Time to figure out who she wants to be when she grows up. Time to take up new hobbies. Time to change the world. Time to figure some things out. So, so much blessed time. Enough to waste. Enough to taste, even. Here are the things my inner princess has on her 2011 bucket list. Melancholy though it seems right now, the Winter blahs will soon evaporate and the sun shall shine on our dreams, once again. Make time to discover yours, this year! Take the time.

1. I'm finally going to write that book. Even if it only sits in the top of my closet for all eternity, I will blow the dust from the pages once a year to show it to my grandchildren, proof that a simple person can make a monument take shape. I will not care whether anyone likes it. I will not be stopped by fatigue, or self-doubt, or even disease. I will start and I will finish.

2. Music will return to my life. I will learn to play the guitar. I might even pick up the violin again. Maybe even a piano. There was a time when I considered this a gift. I'm sure there's a punishment for underutilizing one's gifts, right? I'm taking off the acrylic nails today. Dogs all over the world, clear your throats and practice howling. You're gonna need it!

3. Work that body - ok, I can't even type that without laughing! I've already started on this endeavor. It all falls into the Serenity Prayer mentality. If there's something I don't like, and it's within my power to change, then I must change it or let it go. I can't let it go, just yet. It doesn't have to be perfect, just better. There's a healthy, younger looking person in here somewhere, darn it! No matter how many eliptical machines it takes to find her, I won't give up!

4. I will re-engage in my own life. Daugher - gone. Cancer - done. It was rough, the tunnel was long, but I crawled through the light and made it to the other side. Still, there's fear. There's regret. There's longing. There's even a little self-deprication that won't go away. There's a ton of guilt. What's not there? There's not much passion. I've embraced this not good/not bad, not happy/not sad mentality, because that's the only way I knew to hold it together. I let it go - just now, I think. It's scary. I may feel worse before I feel better, but you can't know what amazing feels like unless you know where to find the bowels of the Earth, right?

So, here's to a new year. The journey will be noteable, I assure you! Wanna come along? Who knows where we'll wind up! Hop on board. I will stamp your ticket....
B-E-L-I-E-V-E (because we will). Ciao!