Sunday, October 11, 2009

Tumbling After

If you could read my mind love,
what a tale my thoughts could tell.
Just like an old time movie
about a ghost from a wishing well.
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
with chains upon my feet.
You know that ghost is me
and I will never be set free
as long as I'm a ghost that you can see.


If I could read your mind love,
what a tale your thoughts could tell.
Just like a paperback novel,
the kind the drugstore sells.
When you reach the part where the heartaches
come the hero would be me.
Heroes often fail.
And you won't read that book again
because the endings just to hard to take.


"If You Could Read My Mind" - Gordon Lightfoot


Fairy tales are supposed to get happy endings, right? The prince rescues his princess, the dish runs away with the spoon, there's a wedding, woodland creatures rejoice, Jill finally catches up with Jack....and they all live happily ever after...correct? So, I try and pretend like there wasn't a you - you were never here to begin with. I try and erase you and forget you and pretend like there was never a daughter. Never a third child. Never a princess in my castle. Then, maybe I will get a happy ending too? Is that so selfish?

But, then, inevitably, someone mentions your name. And, I remember. I remember the way you smelled the day you were born. I remember your gorgeous green eyes that turned brown. I watched you dance. I measured your height every year. I remember your hair that was black, then turned blond, then turned back. I remember how you loved someone. Who was it? Wait....it was me, wasn't it? Didn't you love me? Didn't we love each other? Weren't you my little princess?

Yes - I do remember you. I do. I really, really, really do. Sleep tight, angel. We will get our happy ending one of these days.